Last week began with an amazing morning, empty of seizures. We were so excited (and remain to be) about it. The rest of the day was filled with the nasty little spasms and every day since has had them too, but that glorious time will be forever in my memory as a wonderful time, a time of peace and relief, a time of freedom. It makes the list for "the best of times", for sure. A time, I believe we will have again, but have not had since.
This past Sunday, the 5th, however made the "worst of times" list as the seizure count topped off around 140, yes, one hundred and forty. Miserable, right? Yes, I'll answer for you. It was miserable.
In light of this continuation and severity of seizures, despite the freedom enjoyed for a beautiful morning, we have decided to go ahead with the plan for Depakote. This is a drug we have been avoiding since the beginning. It has an excellent track record (and it is a looong track, been around many many years) for success, but it also has side effects that we'd rather not entertain. I do not believe we will face any horrible side effects, but the thought of giving our son something that has such a potential is not an encouraging one. So, today I am taking Lucas to the lab to have blood drawn to get a baseline liver function test. After the results of this come, the Depakote therapy can begin. While taking depakote, liver function is monitored regularly via blood work. I think it is every 3 months, then 6 months after a couple tests come back all right.
This is not what I expected after Monday morning's joy, but, as I said, I know that God is still in charge and is with us in every thing. I do still believe in healing and do still believe I'll see it. Whatever the reason we had the freedom Monday morning, and whatever reason we haven't had it since, I do not know. I know that the seizureless-ness had nothing to do with us. After a rough night, Lucas almost inevitably has had a increased seizure count, not decreased, and certainly not an absence of the little jerks. We believe God did something and are awaiting Him to do more. In the mean time, we want to be the best care takers we can be and pray that we make the right decisions in doing along the way. This is not always (or hardly ever, perhaps?) easy, but we also trust that even if (though) we mess up, God can take care of that too. So, we are going ahead with conventional medicine, and praying that God does what He wants however He wants. I believe that the medical profession can be and is used as a tool for God, not in opposition to Him. I think the most important thing is that the trust lies in His hands, not the doctors, or medicine or whatever else. That is where our hope lies, with Him. He has entrusted Lucas to our care and we are confident that He will teach us to care for Lucas as He cares for Lucas.
I pray I haven't confused you all. As I said before, I do not know how to explain the degree of my faith. It is how I was made. I pray that God will give me the words you need to hear (read) to understand, at least understand enough for now. :)
I need to get Lucas to the lab now so I can get home to make dinner for me and my favorite fellas. :)
Blessings.
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