Thursday, May 17, 2018

Another Procedure, Another Update

My life, in general, is not conducive to writing. It provides loads of material worth documentation, but not the time to sit and put pen to paper, or fingers to key board, or even sitting much at all actually. When Lucas is in the hospital for some procedure, however, I find myself with an opportunity I feel I should take. I'm hoping to catch up on some other things too.

We are back in the Same Day Surgery Center at St Louis Children's Hospital. Lucas is having a vagus nerve stimulator (VNS) placed. It is a small device, similar to a pacemaker, implanted in his chest, near his left shoulder. There is also a wire that coils around the vagus nerve in the left side of his neck. The VNS will send an electrical impulse through the coiled wire to the nerve for 30 seconds at intervals of every five minutes around the clock. The strength of the charge can (and will) be adjusted by his neurologist. It will be gradually increased about every two weeks over the course of about four months. There is also an option to trigger a stronger impulse, if he is having a more severe seizure or is clustering. It typically is programmed to last for 60 seconds, but we will sort all the details of dosages with the neurologist.  Most people who have a VNS have growing success. Unlike medications that decrease in efficacy over time, requiring increasing dosages, the VNS increases in efficacy. It is also one of the more recommended treatments for individuals with Lucas' seizure diagnosis of Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome. We are hopeful to see our handsome moose have a decrease in seizures, a decrease in medications, an increase in alertness, and an increase in abilities. My hopes that he will walk and talk remain. They will always remain.

Lucas turned 11 on Monday. He's so big. He was 95 pounds when we weighed him this morning. He's tall and handsome and hairy and a little pimply. Ahh... Puberty! I have yet to buy a razor. I'm putting it off as long as I can (for the hassle and a good price with good reviews). Soon though, I will have to make that purchase. He's still the sweetest snuggler and I'm hoping that doesn't stop, regardless of size or hair. That's always my favorite part (we've got to look on the bright side, right?) of procedure days - the time to snuggle and sit still and quiet while holding his hands. His last day of fifth grade is next Thursday, but I doubt he'll be returning to school this year. (I was not thinking about that when I scheduled this, but I should have been!) The pressure/position of his chest harness could poorly effect the healing process. I'm not really sure how we're going to manage this because Eliana still has school, and there are other things that require leaving the house and being in a wheelchair. I haven't seen the incision sights yet. I'll be able to make a better judgement call once I do. We don't have the pool open yet, but no swimming for at least three weeks; no hippotherapy (horseback riding) either.
The remainder of the summer I expect to be a delight!

Eliana just performed this past weekend in Beauty and the Beast. She was a village girl, a wolf and a tea cup. She did great. The show, across the board, was great. I was able to help with some hemming/adjustments on costumes before (and some during) the show. I also had the pleasure of helping backstage during rehearsals and some during the performances. I haven't done any live theater anything since high school and was amazed at the memories, but even more the rush of feelings that came back to me. I had a great time and look forward to helping again next year. I was told that the entire show will be posted on youtube. I'm not sure when that will happen, but if you end up seeing it and are trying to find Eliana, just look for the smallest person. She was the absolute smallest person in the show. She will perform "Be Our Guest" with the rest of the cast for the school Finale performance in a couple of weeks too. She's seriously cute and already looking forward to whatever musical they decide to do next year. I think she's caught the theater bug. :) She'll be eight next month and wants to have a petting zoo of all baby animals instead of a pool party this year. She loves creatures of all shapes and sizes and can typically be found outside exploring if the weather permits. She is desperate for a pet and has begun saving money for a dog, though she knows that she will not be getting the dog until she has her own place. I think they're great, but not for me. We told her when she turns ten we'll talk about the possibility of getting a pet, but it has to be something small and super low maintenance, like a gerbil or lizard. We'll see. We have some time to do some research between now and then.

Evangeline (or Bowie, as she most often calls herself) is becoming a "big girl" more and more. She's super smart (like her big sister). She's getting taller, and more adventuresome. She's got an imagination beyond even Eliana. Evangeline doesn't need dolls; she can use crayons, sticks, rocks, candy wrappers, or just about anything she can find to become the characters of her design. She also tells some fantastic stories - in every sense of the word. She and Eliana frequently end up in passionate arguments over the validity of what Evangeline has said. It most often ends with her yelling at Eliana, "You don't know! You weren't there!" (This, of course, is true, because the entire tale has been fabricated.) It's wildly entertaining sometimes for Marc and me. Every once in a while, it goes a little too far and someone (or two someones) end up in trouble though. Evangeline is a passionate one, as is her sister. This can be unspeakably beautiful and dangerously explosive. She started taking a ballet class in January and loves it. She is especially excited to perform in a couple of weeks for the school Finale. She has a very fancy tutu dress with blue sequence. Her class will be dancing as though they are the elephant princes and princesses. (There's an animal theme this year. Each class represents a different animal and lets that inspire the choreography. For elephants, think graceful trunk sways and strong marching feet intermingled with plies and passe releves.) She just missed the cut off for the preschool program that our school district runs, so she did not attend preschool this past year but should begin in August. I think she's going to love it. She has loved having her own class about which she can talk to people, especially to her sister. I think she likes feeling big and that she has something special, just for her too.

Marc stays busy, but has one huge thing off his list... He finally finished our master bathroom!!!! It's been a project, mostly unattended but for a few days a year since before we moved into our house, a little over five years ago. He did a marvelous job! I have no pictures to show you though. Sorry. I have no pictures at all today. We are just waiting for the closet in the bathroom to be finished, but we decided to hire that out to the Closet Factory along with the master closet. They should both be finished in a few weeks. We need to empty them (and purge!), paint them, and clean them before Closet Factory comes. I wanted a little more time to accomplish that. We've got surgery recovery, end of school stuff, Marc's family coming to visit, the Finale, and Eliana's birthday party to plan. He got a new car a few months ago and loves it. It's a Chevy Bolt. After being on the waiting list for a Tesla for about two years, his old Honda Civic was struggling more and more to hold on to dear functioning life. It was likely to be close to another year before he would get the Tesla and the Civic needed a decent investment to pass inspection again, so he test drove the Bolt and fell in love. I still don't know how to work all the bells and whistles (like the radio), but I have to admit that I have enjoyed driving it too. I love a manual transmission, but No transmission is fun too! It's cute and black and (after Marc did a major wonder in the garage) fits snugly next to our Honda Oddessy for overnight charging. :)

I am getting along. I have continued to struggle with my health, respiratory health in particular, but  all the tests they've run on me have come back ok. I don't appear to have any immune deficiency. Even when my lungs sounded their worst (really the lower R lobe) and I ended up with zero air movement and couldn't catch my breath if I just walked across a room, the CT scan (taken a couple of days before the lung collapse) showed no signs of pneumonia. This is great news, but begs the question, "Then, what is wrong!?!" In my two most recent appointments, it was postulated with the force of a diagnosis (but there isn't one for this) that the root of it all is exhaustion beginning over three and a half years ago with my labor with Evangeline (she'll be four in September) and continuing to the present, though it was most severe for the first year. My body is weak and unable to fight with any gusto whatsoever when germs make their moves. The chronic bronchitis has especially exhausted my lungs, so they are now simply beginning to collapse. This is not good news, but it isn't as bad as pneumonia. (Maybe.)  My prescription for a return to health, therefore, is ...... REST!! ('Cause that's what mom's with young, busy and special needs kids do! - Wait... It is?) I have not been sick for the past three weeks. I'm hoping to keep stretching that from more weeks to months and even years. If I do, however, it's back to steroids and antibiotics. I also began a new inhaler (my second daily inhaler, third inhaler total) which is typically prescribed for COPD patients. It might be helping, but I'm trying to make some strides to get some rest here and there and trying to not completely fill my schedule, but that is much easier desired than accomplished. I have managed a handful of naps and even a day out for a float and lunch with a friend. I've been told that my sleep/rest debt is so great it will likely take longer to recover from it than it took me to dig myself into the depths of it (where it is dark and tempts me to sleep every time I sit down, but I can't). I'm hoping that if I am able to make successful strides toward getting more rest, I'll be able to recover soon, soonish at least. We'll see. In the meantime, I am grateful for countless things, and as I struggle, I am reminded to pray for those who are experiencing similar things, but don't have any where near the comforts I enjoy. I pray mostly for refugees trying to escape with their lives to a place that isn't filled with a constant threat of death or worse and I pray for those who are still in those places filled with violence and suffering beyond anything that most of us Westerners can imagine.

We appreciate your prayers for us, but encourage you to consider those who don't have access to clean hospitals or even clean water, those who live with the expectation of death and suffering, with hunger and homelessness. Please, pray with us for them and how we might help. There is much to be done, but if we all put our hands to the work, the burden is easier shared.

Lucas is out of surgery now. It went well. I will now sit with him as I wait for him to awaken enough to have a drink so we can go home.

Blessings, friends. Love and thanks to you.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Let me 'splain. No; is too much. Let me sum up.

It's been two years since I've gotten around to this. A lot can happen in a couple years.  I'm sure I'll miss plenty of stuff, but here's something out there for those of you interested.

I'm currently sitting in a smallish room at Mercy Hospital in St Louis awaiting my dear Lucas' return to consciousness after anesthesia. He had some dental work- x-rays, a cleaning, some sealant applied and a little filling in a tooth with a deep crevice (not a cavity). He also had his first round of botox injections. That's interesting, right? He isn't going to look any younger (he's actually working on a moustache and looking older all the time!), but will, hopefully, have less swing of his hips to the right. He has a good deal of increased tension in some of his muscles which causes them to pull his body in certain directions. We have been watching his left hip for a few years now because it is slightly pulled out of the socket. If it were to suddenly dislodge, it could be excruciatingly painful and warrant emergency surgery. The botox should help decrease the risk. It only lasts 3-6 months, so if it is successful, great, but... we could be in for several more of these anesthesia-requiring appointments.

We are considering having a vagus nerve stimulator placed to help with seizure (sz) control. It is a small device, similar to a pacemaker, that is implanted in the upper chest and has a wire that wraps around the vagus nerve in the neck. It sends an electrical charge to the nerve at set times every day like a medication. There is also a powerful magnet that can be used to trigger the electric impulse when he is having a sz, to help cut it short. It is remarkably successful in about 1/3 of patients, successful in about 1/3 and minimally successful to making no apparent difference in about 1/3. It's benefits typically continue to increase over the first year and then level off. Most folks who have one are able to significantly decrease medications. The thought of that is wonderful to us. Lucas is in the throws of puberty, so I understand the desire to sleep a lot, but I have no doubt that being on multiple medications which cause drowsiness plays a role too. There are some risks and side effects that need to be weighed, so we are still in researching mode. Lucas' inability to explain to us what he experiences or understand exactly what's happening to him causes a bit more concern and desire for even more information, especially personal testimonials from folks who can tell what they have experienced.

I'll now attempt to give a brief-ish summation of the last two years, likely in jumbled order and surely neglecting several things.

He had his tonsils and adenoids removed in September 2016 to diminish his "severe obstructive sleep apnea". In his initial sleep study, he averaged around 400 sleep disturbances an hour. In almost 9 hours of sleep, he only had 2 1/2 minutes of REM sleep and his oxygen levels dropped significantly multiple times. That's not at all good. His post-op sleep study showed that he is so greatly improved, he doesn't even need a CPAP machine! (Marc, however, will be getting one soon!) The ENT was so pleased that he released Lucas from his care. Unfortunately, at the end of May 2017 and again in September 2017, his right eardrum ruptured. I bought an otoscope and caught another ear infection about a month ago before it got that bad. We will see the ENT again in a couple of months to discuss having tubes put in his ears. If there are 6 ear infections in a 12 month period, tubes are the recommended treatment. If there are 4-5, it's also often done. He has also had recurrent UTIs, over the past couple of years. His pediatrician can handle that though.

May of 2016, my dad died unexpectedly. There is much that can be said about that, but I don't know that I'm up for it. I also don't think that a blog about Lucas is the place for me to expound upon my grief. It has been a great dissuasion to my posting here. For that, I'm sorry. The funeral was on Lucas' 9th birthday. I just couldn't get past that to say anything else. Lucas loved his Grandpa Beard and Grandpa Beard loved Lucas. He is greatly missed. If anyone wants to see his obit, you can read it here.

Lucas is still having daily sz, but most days it's 15-20. They have decreased some since adding Trileptal to his med regime and since having his tonsil/adenoidectomy (improving his quality of sleep). We've had a few times over the past few months that the sz wouldn't stop coming and we had to give rescue meds to try to stop them. They still often send him off to sleep. He still gets occasional surges of chemicals flooding his brain and causing him to smile/laugh, cry miserably, or rage like the Hulk too. He also still has plenty that are quite "small" and only noticeable if paying close attention.  We still pray that he will be healed every day. We still are seeking how we can help decrease them. We are still thankful that we are not having days of 100 or more sz.

We started having an aide come to the house four days a week to bathe and hang out with Lucas November 2015. We've been through over a dozen people and we are on our third agency. We've had a few real gems over the last year and 3ish months. Stuff comes up in people's lives that needs to take priority over the 12 hours a week we have a need. I'm hoping to get set up with some funding for extra aide hours before the summer begins so that we can have someone with us for the school free days to get in and out of the pool and go... wherever. I started the process in April, was told in July it would be four weeks, but here we are, 6 months later and still no answers. I'm grateful for the funding, but, oy vey, the process!! We are grateful to have Lucas bathing more often and having some attention paid him while I make dinner and go through backpacks and what not. I hate hime being ignored because I have to do other stuff. I'm hoping we'll have an aide who sticks around for a while again. Training a new person every day or week or month is not my favorite, but I understand; it's a process that shouldn't be forced. We want the right person and we want everyone to have their priorities in order. For now, we've got someone who is doing all right, has been with us for about three weeks, and seems to intend to continue.

I've been battling some chronic bronchitis since summer 2016. I'm hoping that beginning allergy shots this year (a five year commitment!) will help. Currently, I'm taking the strongest inhaler on the market (or so I've been told), Singulair, Allegra, and a med for acid reflux. (Apparently, acid reflux can cause respiratory issues, even if there are no typical symptoms of acid reflux.) I also have another inhaler for when I'm really struggling and have done multiple rounds of both antibiotics and oral steroids. I've been sick more than I've been well, and even when I am well, I still have a slightly productive cough, though it isn't constant or quite as bothersome. I had some allergy testing done and I tested positive for almost everything. The running theory is that I got so sick for so long summer into fall 2016 that my lungs have not been able to recover, and my fierce allergies are not helping. I'm pressing on. God is good and faithful and I always find strength in Him even when I feel like I won't be able to find it again. I'm hoping to get better and stay better this year. I want to feel up for doing things, not feel so tired and defeated. I want to have fun with my kids, have more date nights with my husband, and maybe even drop in on an adult tap class or two at Eliana's school. (Yes, they have adult classes too!)

Lucas is now ten years and seven months old (well, almost - as of the 14th). He's about 5'2" and somewhere around 100 pounds. His voice is getting deeper and the hair just keeps growing. I'll likely be purchasing an electric razor in the next few months. He is in the 5th grade. He's still as sweet as ever and his snuggles are still the best. He is still my favoritest favorite favorite. He might have a crush on Elsa from Disney World. He was certainly enamored when we were there in August 2017. (She was amazing!! There are so many folks who don't know what to do with a kid like Lucas, but she was wonderful. She got down on his level and talked just to him. She took the time and engaged with him. He certainly noticed too! He was all smiles, in that dopey "Aw, shucks!" kind of way. The woman who played Tiana was great too and left him with kissy lip marks on his cheek!)

We've been to New York, St. Croix, and Walt Disney World. Marc and I got away to Kentucky for a couple of days and went to a caregivers of special needs kids retreat for one night. We mostly stay super busy. Lucas is still doing the hippo therapy (horseback riding), and Eliana has started getting riding lessons too. I am still homeschooling Eliana two days a week and she is in a regular class two days. Fridays are her "enrichment" days. This year, she's taking Musical Theater (and will be in the spring musical "Beauty and the Beast"), Spanish, Art and Circus. Evangeline will begin joining her on Friday mornings for a Creative Movement class. She is super excited about that! I'm working with the  Kulture, a ministry for the youth in our community that meets at our church every Tuesday evening, and I LOVE IT!! Being a teenager is tricky. I'm so thankful God is using me here, speaking truth and overcoming the junk in my past by loving others and (hopefully) convincing them to do it better than I did. Marc is an elder and one of the leaders of the men's bible study in addition to doing all kinds of other stuff. We have a small group that meets at our house every other week to read the bible, talk about it, pray for each other, and eat - not necessarily in that order. Generally, we stay pretty busy, but it's usually good stuff- when it isn't doctor appointments because something is wrong. I don't know when I'll update again. Sitting at the computer just isn't my bag. I'm sure there are a gazillion things I'm forgetting, but this will have to do for now, until God only knows when. I'll leave some pictures below. I don't think any of these have been posted yet. If they have, skip them or enjoy again! I am including an album of my dad too, if anyone is interested, but be warned: there are like 400 pictures there.

As always, we are grateful for your prayers. We know that without God, we would not have much hope, but with Him, we do have hope, and great joy even in the face of countless unwelcome things. We pray for you too, that you know the Hope we have, that you seek God, that you research Him, find a bible and read it, check out some Tim Keller, Ravi Zacharias, Craig Keener,  or Lee Strobel. It's on my list of to-dos for this year too.

Blessings and love!

2015

drive and disney 2015

More disney 2015

my dad

2016

some 2017